I Apologize in Advance for the Whining
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Let me pre-emptively state that I know I am incredibly lucky and blessed.
That said, I’m in one hell of a funk. (And I'm inadvertently hungover. Someone who shall remain unnamed fed me over-tequila-ed margaritas last night. My, they were tasty.)
But back to my point. Things are particularly… overwhelming right now. At work, things are crazy busy and the stress has officially worked its way into my dreams. It’s never fun to have your boss serve you eggs while sleeping, is it? Even if you like your boss as much as I do mine.
A week and a half ago, a good friend’s mother unexpectedly died. It’s really sad and I am finding it hard to wrap my head around it all. My friend just got married a few months ago. And then this. It’s given me a lot of pause. But what just burns me is I couldn’t be there for the funeral. Well, I suppose I could have if I’d taken time off and spent the money on the ticket, but various things (like airfare and work) kept me from doing that. So I didn’t go, and I feel bad about that. I know she knows I am thinking of her, and we’ve talked, and I sent flowers, but still. I want to be there to hug her and try to take a bit of the load off her shoulders and I just can’t. And I think the one thing I have always been—despite my many, many other failures—is a good and supportive friend. It eats away at me that I am not being one now.
And there are other issues bubbling—friendships gone awry that somehow need to be addressed, this black financial hole I’m currently in (I can make it, I can make it), my anxiety and paranoia about an upcoming work trip, and the fact that I am suddenly freaking out about my future. Well, suddenly as in the past few months. (Is this the quarterlife crisis everyone talks about?) It’s all just little crap that adds up to me waking up on the wrong side of the bed every morning of late, snapping at my lovely, kind, considerate roommate, not making time to talk to my parents and friends, and just generally not being myself. It’s a challenge to be my generally happy and optimistic self these days.
But things just started looking up. I just got this in my inbox at work from my most favorite former roommate Em, who moved to back home after a year here and who I still miss every day at least three times, and fifteen times during every Lifetime movie I watch:
eri:
it should be illegal to miss you like i do. i should be arrested.
when are you coming to live in my basement?
Funk dispelled for the moment. Sun is shining. Good friends are the best, aren’t they?
I’m off to Austin tomorrow and not back for a few days. The sun is ACTUALLY shining there and it’s 80 degrees, so I’m hoping I’ll come back renewed, refreshed, and a little pinker. And then I have Disneyland with Dan and Darren coming my way. That's a day at the magic kingdom with two of my favorite people. Seriously, what’s not to like, right?
That said, I’m in one hell of a funk. (And I'm inadvertently hungover. Someone who shall remain unnamed fed me over-tequila-ed margaritas last night. My, they were tasty.)
But back to my point. Things are particularly… overwhelming right now. At work, things are crazy busy and the stress has officially worked its way into my dreams. It’s never fun to have your boss serve you eggs while sleeping, is it? Even if you like your boss as much as I do mine.
A week and a half ago, a good friend’s mother unexpectedly died. It’s really sad and I am finding it hard to wrap my head around it all. My friend just got married a few months ago. And then this. It’s given me a lot of pause. But what just burns me is I couldn’t be there for the funeral. Well, I suppose I could have if I’d taken time off and spent the money on the ticket, but various things (like airfare and work) kept me from doing that. So I didn’t go, and I feel bad about that. I know she knows I am thinking of her, and we’ve talked, and I sent flowers, but still. I want to be there to hug her and try to take a bit of the load off her shoulders and I just can’t. And I think the one thing I have always been—despite my many, many other failures—is a good and supportive friend. It eats away at me that I am not being one now.
And there are other issues bubbling—friendships gone awry that somehow need to be addressed, this black financial hole I’m currently in (I can make it, I can make it), my anxiety and paranoia about an upcoming work trip, and the fact that I am suddenly freaking out about my future. Well, suddenly as in the past few months. (Is this the quarterlife crisis everyone talks about?) It’s all just little crap that adds up to me waking up on the wrong side of the bed every morning of late, snapping at my lovely, kind, considerate roommate, not making time to talk to my parents and friends, and just generally not being myself. It’s a challenge to be my generally happy and optimistic self these days.
But things just started looking up. I just got this in my inbox at work from my most favorite former roommate Em, who moved to back home after a year here and who I still miss every day at least three times, and fifteen times during every Lifetime movie I watch:
eri:
it should be illegal to miss you like i do. i should be arrested.
when are you coming to live in my basement?
Funk dispelled for the moment. Sun is shining. Good friends are the best, aren’t they?
I’m off to Austin tomorrow and not back for a few days. The sun is ACTUALLY shining there and it’s 80 degrees, so I’m hoping I’ll come back renewed, refreshed, and a little pinker. And then I have Disneyland with Dan and Darren coming my way. That's a day at the magic kingdom with two of my favorite people. Seriously, what’s not to like, right?
This entry was posted
on Thursday, March 09, 2006 at 10:54 AM.
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